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Evolving — August 8, 2020


I used the word evolving as a title because everyone and everything around us evolves and changes and two I used it because the word has been recently explained to me in different terms where we are in a constant state of evolving and changing.

After I took this Zencation online retreat and have been processing things from what I’ve learned, I’ve been looking at my past trauma and experiences I’ve personally been through and I’ve come to open my mind more on that I might decide to not re enter a D/s dynamic again because I value my independence I’ve really had over the past 3 years.

In my past I’ve allowed not very nice people in my life and I know that I do not want to allow not nice people in my life anymore. Yes I realize that not at all people are bad and not all people are going to treat me badly. I’ve also taken this time to see myself more while figuring out things.

In my community it’s a little sad because some people choose to be catty and be little people if you are not on their side of the fence. I believe that is wrong because you’re shutting not only doors but also a place that might be someone’s only safe haven to them. I’m morally not okay with that because I’ve been where I’ve had nowhere to turn to and no one to talk to for help. I really wish that those would put down their daggers and be more open to everyone.

I would love to help build within whole communities on helping those who are finding a safe haven and a place to reach out for help. I know what abuse is like and I know what it’s like to be completely alone in that you have no one to look for to ask for help.

I’ve learned and kept in mind to look at what brings you joy in how you want to serve and help others. I’m still processing that and yes it’s been so much slower with COVID-19 going on and who knows how long it’ll be that way but it’s figuring out how to work within and around it.

I hope all are safe and well. 💙

What if your safe word is violated? — July 29, 2020

What if your safe word is violated?

Photo from Google

Safe words are one of the most important conversations you will have when negotiating with your Top. Safe words are what lets the Top know when to slow down or stop during a scene.

It’s so important to have that talk before playing with anyone and if you’re uncomfortable talking open and honestly about this then you really should not be playing at all because not only will you end up hurting yourself but you will hurt those around you and that is not okay.

The basic safe words that are used are the traffic light system of Green, Yellow, and Red. We all know that Green is go, yellow means slow down especially if you might have been introduced to something new. Red means stop meaning that scene is over period no exceptions and aftercare should start right away.

What happens if our safe words are violated?

I will be sharing my own experience as yes I’ve had a safe word violated. I will stop here and say TRIGGER WARNING DO NOT GO FURTHER IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED

Photo from The F Word

This is what happened in my own experience with safe words being violated.

I was playing privately with someone and this was six months after I had gotten to know them and played publicly with and I felt safe with person because they had not ignored my safe words until this moment.

We were in a regular scene I was being flogged and spanked just good impact play. He then stopped and was grabbing something else and I didn’t know what it was I was already in my happy place. The only thing he said was to relax and breathe and then I felt it. I then panicked which turned into a panic attack I screamed no, red, stop. He did not listen and I was crying with my head deep inside the pillow. He had inserted without consent a butt plug in me. I had literally froze after crying I lost all emotions I was now in survive mode of finish the damn scene and get the fuck out. I did not know what else to do when it was over and I was finally at home I texted him not to contact me anymore and that I do not want to play with you anymore. That you violated me. He never contacted me again and I only saw him once at a club event which yes my insides freaked out but I remained calm and didn’t go near him at all. All I will say is that Karma did do justice for me.

Since that did happen I’ve been extremely picky who I play with and who I’m around. I do not play privately with anyone anymore it must be in a safe public space with lots of people around. I could care less about others seeing my naked flaws I’d rather be around others while playing. Then I know there are witnesses and it’s safe.

Thankfully others out there have shared some wonderful information about safety and safe words.

I highly recommend playing after you’ve taken the time to really know someone and please play in a public dungeon with DM’s. Always do your research about each venue making sure they comply with safety and the well being of others that is most important

Have you ever had your safe words disregarded or ignored? If you’re okay to share I invite you to please share in the comments.

I am going to leave here a few links on consent and negotiations and the importance of safe words.

Beyond safe words when saying No in BDSM isn’t enough

Lehigh Valley Kink Red Flags of Abuse within BDSM

What’s coming August 2020 to streaming services — July 27, 2020

What’s coming August 2020 to streaming services

Photo from cnet

August is literally this coming Saturday and if you enjoy movies I’m sure you’re already looking forward to the new additions to your favorite streaming service.

Here’s what’s coming!


  • A Knight’s Tale
  • Acts of violence
  • The Addams Family (1991)
  • An Education
  • Being John Malkovich
  • Death at a Funeral
  • Dennis the menace
  • Elizabeth Harvest
  • Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
  • hardcore Henry
  • Iron Man armored adventures: season 1-2
  • Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park:The Lost World, Jurassic World 3
  • Mad Max
  • Mr. Deeds
  • My perfect landing season 1
  • Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea: Season 1
  • The Neverending Story, The Neverending Story Chapter 2 (so excited for these 2)
  • The next step season 6
  • Nights in Rodanthe
  • Oceans thirteen
  • Oceans twelve
  • Operation ouch season 1
  • Operation ouch special
  • Remember me
  • Seabiscut
  • Super monsters the new class (Netflix original)
  • Toradora!: Season 1
  • Transformers Rescue Bots Academy: Season 2
  • The ugly truth
  • What keeps you alive

August 2nd

  • Almost Love
  • Connected- Netflix original documentary

August 3rd

  • Immigration Nation – Netflix original documentary

August 4

  • A Go! Go! Cory Carson summer camp -Netflix Original
  • Malibu Rescue: The next wave – Netflix original
  • Mundo Misterio/ Mystery Lab – Netflix original
  • Special Jay: 3 in the morning – Netflix comedy special

August 5th

  • Anelka: L’Incompris/Anelka: Misunderstood — Netflix Documentary
  • World’s Most Wanted — Netflix Documentary

August 6th

  • The Rain Season 3 Netflix Original
  • The Seven Deadly Sins: Imperial Wrath of The Gods — Netflix Anime

August 7th

  • Alta Mar/High Seas: Season 3 — Netflix Original
  • Berlin, Berlin- Netflix Original Film
  • The Magic School Bus Rides Again Kids In Space — Netflix Family
  • Nailed It! México: Season 2 — Netflix Original
  • The New Legends of Monkey: Season 2 — Netflix Family
  • Selling Sunset Season 3 – Netflix Original
  • Sing on! Germany – Netflix Original
  • Tiny Creatures- Netflix Original
  • Wizards: tale of Arcadia – Netflix family original
  • Word party songs – Netflix Original family
  • Work it- Netflix Original film

August 8th

  • The promise
  • We summon the darkness

August 10th

  • Game On: A Comedy Crossover Event — Netflix Original
  • Nightcrawler

August 11th

  • Mr. Peabody and Sherman
  • Rob Schneider: Asian Momma, Mexican Kids — Netflix Comedy Special

August 12

  • Scary movie 5
  • (Un)Well — Netflix Documentary

August 13

  • Safety not guaranteed
  • Une fille facile/An Easy Girl — Netflix Film

August 14th

  • 3% season 4 – Netflix Original
  • El robo del siglo — Netflix Original
  • Fearless- Netflix Original film
  • Glow up – season 2 Netflix Original
  • Project power – Netflix Original film
  • The legend of Korra: Book one Air, Book two spirits, Book three change, Book four balance
  • Octonauts & the Caves of Sac Actun — Netflix Family
  • Teenage bounty hunters – Netflix Original

August 15th

  • Rita season 5 Netflix Original
  • Stranger season 2 Netflix Original

August 16th

  • Johnny English
  • Les Miserables (2012)

August 17th

  • Crazy Awesome Teachers – Netflix Original
  • Drunk Parents
  • Glitch Techs season 2 – Netflix original family

August 19th

  • Crímenes de familia / The Crimes That Bind — Netflix Film
  • DeMarcus Family Rules – Netflix Original
  • High Score – Netflix Documentary

August 20

  • Biohackers- Netflix Original
  • Good Kisser
  • Great pretender – Netflix Anime
  • John was trying to contact aliens – Netflix Animation

August 21st

  • Alien TV – Netflix Original family
  • Fuego negro — Netflix Film
  • Hoops – Netflix Original
  • Lucifer season 5 – Netflix Original
  • Rust valley restorers – season 3 – Netflix Original
  • The Sleepover – Netflix Original

August 23

  • 1 BR
  • Septembers of Shiraz

August 25th

  • Emily’s wonder lab – Netflix Original family
  • Trinkets season 2 – Netflix Original

August 26th

  • Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol — Netflix Original
  • La venganza de Analía — Netflix Original
  • Million dollar beach house – Netflix Original
  • Rising Phoenix- Netflix documentary

August 27th

  • Aggretsuko: Season 3 — Netflix Anime
  • Retsuko the red panda
  • The bridge curse
  • The frozen ground

August 28th

  • All Together now – Netflix Original
  • Cobra Kai Seasons 1&2 – Netflix Original (karate kid all grown up awesome show so excited)
  • I AM A KILLER Released – Netflix Original
  • Orígenes secretos / Unknown Origins — Netflix Film

August 31st

  • Casino Royale
  • Quantum of Solace

Disney Plus

August 7th

  • The Peanuts Movie
  • Howard- Disney plus documentary on the lyricists behind the songs from beauty and the beast, the little mermaid, Aladdin
  • Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge Adventure Awaits
  • Muppets Now Episode 2
  • Disney family Sunday’s – series finale

August 14th

  • The one and only Ivan
  • The Greatest Showman
  • Muppets Now Episode 3
  • Magic Camp
  • Spaced out season 1
  • Weird but true! Season 3
  • Alaska animal rescue season 1

August 21st

  • Back to the Titanic
  • Muppets now – episode 4
  • Mars: One day on the red planet

August 28th

  • Fantastic Four (2005)
  • Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Candace against the Universe
  • Muppets now Episode 5


August 1st

  • Monchhichi: Complete Season 1B (Cartoon Network)
  • The Pier (El Embarcadero): Complete Seasons 1 & 2 (BetaFilm)
  • UniKitty: Complete Season 2B (Cartoon Network
  • 71 (2015)
  • 3:10 to Yuma (2017) this one is fun to watch great action
  • A Good Woman (2006)
  • A perfect murder (1998)
  • Australia (2008)
  • The Brothers McCullen (1995)
  • Cats and Dogs (2001)
  • Child’s Play (1988) if you don’t like scary tiny dolls popping out of nowhere this isn’t for you
  • City Slickers (1991)
  • City Slickers 2 The Legend of Curly’s Gold (1994) I saw this at the drive in when it came out it’s a cute movie
  • Company Business
  • Death at a Funeral
  • Elena undone
  • Elena undone – 10th anniversary
  • Four weddings and a funeral
  • Free fall
  • Gayby
  • Hellraiser
  • Hurricane Bianca
  • Just Charlie
  • The legend of the guardians: The owls of Ga’Hoole this is an awesome movie
  • Margin Call
  • Master and commander: the far side of the world – boring
  • My best friends wedding
  • My bloody valentine (1981) this horror movie rocks it’s super cheesy!!!!
  • Pit Stop
  • Rain man (1988)
  • Rustlers Rhapsody
  • Safe
  • The Saint
  • Sleeping with the enemy
  • Sordid lives
  • Spare parts
  • Stanley &Iris
  • Star Trek II the wrath of Kahn
  • Star Trek III The search for Spock
  • Star Trek V the final frontier
  • Star Trek VI The undiscovered country
  • Star Trek Insurrection
  • Star Trek The motion picture
  • Stuck on you
  • Top Gun
  • Ultraviolet
  • Up in the air
  • We’re the world mine

August 2nd

  • Shark vs. Surfer special National Geographic

August 3

  • Dora and the lost city of gold
  • Ordinary love

August 6th

  • The real wives of Orange County Season 14
  • The peanut butter falcon
  • Slay the dragon

(Yeah I’m not adding the rest of Hulu it’s pretty much TV 🤷‍♀️ ugh)

Prime will have the same new movies as Hulu except their New movie for August will be 2020’s Capone which will be available August 10th

Brand new movies HBO will be showing August 2020

  • August 18th Birds of Prey And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn, 2020 (HBO)
  • August 22nd Queen and Slim
  • The way back

FYI August 25th HBO dumps all the Harry Potter movies so watch them before the 25th

Happy Streaming

Safety First — July 20, 2020

Safety First

photo from google

Safety is always important no matter what situation in life you might find yourself. That being said it’s always first and foremost in the bdsm/kink lifestyle.

Especially now during all the quarantine going on and social distancing it can be really challenging for both Tops and Bottoms who do not live together and those who might just be play partners and aren’t able to go to an event or play party during this time. From my own experiences being a submissive/bottom it has been challenging not being able to play during social distancing. However in my normal day to day it’s regular for me, because I’m not in any dynamic and I just have play partners whom I occasionally play with.

With safety first especially right now a submissive might experience sub frenzy where they miss that connection and release from being Topped during a scene or being in a BDSM dynamic.

Many say that Sub Frenzy only happens to new subs and bottoms who just entered the lifestyle and want to do everything now. I do not believe this because even seasoned subs and bottoms can still experience sub frenzy from time to time especially when it’s been a long period of time from not getting that release that is achieved when being topped.

When I was a baby in kink I definitely had sub frenzy and I didn’t think things through. I didn’t fully know how to Vet someone and I rushed into a dynamic. I didn’t know about consent and negotiations as I’ve recently learned from the community i’m in. I have done this more than once because I was not mindful of my sub frenzy and I didn’t have a community where I could reach out and ask for help and advice.

I have experienced sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse, and physical abuse. No i’m not sharing this for pity or for anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m not a victim and I keep on working on myself and moving forward from my past experiences in a much more positive and safe way. It is really important to know how to vet someone when you are entering a dynamic. There are so many people, whether they are a submissive/bottom or a dominant/top, who hide their flaws and who are not honest and truthful.

The second time I rushed into a dynamic was several months after my Master had passed away from a heart attack. I was so devastated on the inside from his passing and I felt completely lost and was missing that connection. I had taken advice from a few vanilla friends to try a dating/hookup site and I downloaded it and put up my profile and bam away I went without thinking.

I didn’t vet anyone properly and I wasn’t thinking of being responsibly safe or about my personal well being. I just wanted that connection and feeling of purpose back again. I was fully responsible for allowing this person into my life. I was not responsible for his behaviors towards me. Many of things that I did were not consented and I was again fearful of my life and felt helpless. The only thing that was consented were the sexual things I did to please this person. I consented to that but I did not consent to being degraded and having my self esteem be put down. This person had me take pictures of everything I ate and I had to ask permission before I ate and if he said no I had to figure out something else to eat. I did not consent to that. That hurt me emotionally and mentally and that trauma just added to my past trauma and it still effects me today.

Again I AM NOT sharing this to gain any sympathy or pity because I was responsible for allowing this person into my life and not properly being safe. I am sharing this message to others for you to be safe and smart.

I highly recommend if you are interested in bdsm/kink whether you want to be in a dynamic or you just want to see what it’s about be safe. I highly recommend using the website Fetlife and setting up a profile.

Here is a video from Whips, Chains, and Duct Tape on How to set up your Fetlife profile. If you are new to the lifestyle I highly recommend watching this video.

You can find Whips, Chains, and Duct Tape on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram and other social media platforms.

After you have your profile all ready and set up to be published I recommend looking for your local kink/bdsm communities. Right now many munches are not happening due to social distancing and quarantine. There are however many munches and groups being done virtually so you can still interact with others who have been in the lifestyle and have experience.

These are my personal recommendations from my own experience:

  • Do not meet anyone alone
  • Do look up local kink/bdsm communities
  • Do not play with anyone when first meeting someone
  • If you’re going to drink alcohol have a safe person you can call who knows where you are and what you’re doing/ Or have someone go with you as backup
  • Research BDSM/Kink

Please when doing anything be safe and be smart about it.

Here are list of links of safe groups in The BDSM/Kink Lifestyle: Whips, Chains, & Duct Tape Lehigh Valley Kink Kink Education and Awareness

These are few bdsm/kink references who are safe and have been in the lifestyle for years and have tools for those who are new or need a refresher course.

Take Care and Be Safe!

Feeling the weight of sharing the same things thousands share — July 15, 2020

Feeling the weight of sharing the same things thousands share

When you start writing a blog of any kind you want to contribute in the things you have participated in or things you’ve seen. Then there tends to be this whole weight of what to write, what to share, and how to share it.

After seeing how many kinksters and educators have shared so much with the communities online it weights on my mind and the thoughts of “This has been shared and talked about so much”. First it’s beautiful how much is shared online and virtually. It’s great learning so many things whether it’s a new topic or something someone has experienced or something someone has done for a long period of time.

I have so much information from my own experiences and my flaw is trying to expedite them and get them into actual word format.

It is my own anxiety about it because in my mind the thoughts of “this has been done a million times” and “I don’t want pity for what I’ve been through”. That’s where I mostly stop and end up not putting anything out there. I know that I’m the one that has to fix those thought sand feelings and just do it! Put it out there because well I want to and hopefully it’ll go well. If it doesn’t then well I still put myself out there.

Fingers crossed for me as I put it out there!

I’m so tired of it all — July 13, 2020

I’m so tired of it all

I am mentally drained and tired of it all!

I’m tired of seeing the lying ads of trump for his stupid re election campaign. I’m tired of seeing so much hatred and racism going on.

I’m tired of politics using their religion for causes because hello separation of state and church!!! Leave your damn religion to your fucking self! I don’t want to hear your man made bullshit garbage! Just stop it!

Since March yes my kids are with me 24/7 yes I’m a stay at home mom and I love my kids but I miss alone time just me and I barely get any time to myself.

I’m just worn thin these days I have no energy for exercising i try to exercise maybe twice a week and then I get depressed about it and just say fuck it.

I genuinely hope others out there are having a better time of this 😥

It’s Safe at the Drive In! — July 7, 2020

It’s Safe at the Drive In!

While still staying safe and careful hoping not to contract the Covid-19 virus theaters are still closed and during summer the movies were such a great place to go to escape the summer heat and humidity.

Drive Ins across America are making a huge comeback this summer as many of us are social distancing. I’ve always loved the drive growing up it was always a fun treat.

Drive Ins have social distancing instructions to keep employees and patrons safe. You can sit in front of the car with lawn chairs, blankets, etc. Mask wearing is required in the concession and bathrooms. You don’t have to wear your mask while watching the movie whether inside or outside of your car. Since theaters are still closed classic movies and already released movies will be playing instead of new releases. Which is a lot fun I took my kids to watch Ferris Bueller’s Day off and Beetlejuice they had a great time.

Check your local Drive Ins or go on a road trip and watch a movie under the stars this summer!

My Spy (movie staring Bautista) —

My Spy (movie staring Bautista)

Photo credit Google

This movie is so freaking cute! It stars Bautista who is a CIA agent named J.J and in the beginning of the movie he’s at a location where he’s with the Russian mafia and other terrorist where he’s trying to obtain plutonium weapons.

Pretty much he blows the case and the main villain gets away and J.J’s boss gives him a lower grade job where he’s doing civilian surveillance on the Villian’s sister in law, Kate. During this Kate’s daughter Sophie (Chloe Coleman) finds out her and her mom are being watched by J.J and his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). Sophie then pretty much blackmails them and J.J teachers her how to be a spy and also goes to some of her school events because her mom works and isn’t able to go the daytime events.

I don’t want to giveaway anymore of the movie away if you haven’t seen it but it’s really cute and very funny. Yes it’s full of action so you won’t get bored if you’re more of an action fan.

You can watch My Spy on Amazon Prime.

Happy viewing 🙂

Article “Understanding Black Lives Matter – The New Civil Rights Movement” — June 18, 2020

Article “Understanding Black Lives Matter – The New Civil Rights Movement”

I’ve been doing more research a bit here and there and I came across this article which gives more detail into Black Lives Matter and was written in 2016. I’ve tried to share the actual link to the article but I keep getting a message stating that there is an error so I’ve copied and pasted the entire article here.

Please feel free to share this with others as well as friends and or family members who feel the same way and want to learn and educate themselves about Black Lives Matter.

Understanding Black Lives Matter – The New Civil Rights Movement

We are continuing our Racial Justice Initiative this year, which was well received in 2015-16. As before, there will be book suggestions and discussions, a few movie nights, and social action opportunities, as well as the Beloved Conversations Adult Religious Education offering which was developed by a UU minister.

A main focus of this fall will be understanding the Black Lives Matter movement, and the UUA’s support of the movement.

See Understanding Black Lives Matter – The New Civil Rights Movement: Info Sessions and Listening Circles for dates and details.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Black Lives Matter movement?
Don’t “All Lives Matter”?
What about “Blue Lives Matter”?
What is institutional racism and how does it impact black people?
Is the UUA supporting the Black Lives Matter movement?
What is Standing on the Side of Love?
Links for further information

Download the PowerPoint slides from the information sessions.

What is the Black Lives Matter movement?

This new civil rights movement was founded in 2012 by three black women, Alicia Garza, Opal Tometi and Patrisse Cullors. It is a national and international social justice and civil rights movement of people stating that change simply must happen if we are to be a just society.

The movement was founded after George Zimmerman’s acquittal for the murder of Trayvon Martin. During Zimmerman’s trial, his lawyer frequently implied that 17-year old Trayvon was somehow responsible for his own killing, presumably because he was a young black man out at night. The movement gained momentum after the 2014 shooting of Michael Brown, the death of Eric Garner, and many similar events. However, the focus of the movement goes far beyond the highly publicized and questionable killings of black people by police officers. It is a movement for the end of institutionalized and systemic racism; for an end to the criminalization and mass incarceration of black people for offenses that don’t result in similar treatment for white people; for committed investment in schools serving black children, for economic investments in communities of color and, very importantly, the active participation of black people in the decisions that impact their lives and communities.

Through the three and a half centuries since America’s inception, great harm has been inflicted on black people and the movement stresses it is time to repair that harm, to recognize the rights and history of black people, and to end their disenfranchisement. The movement is not simply an angry response to police actions against people of color and absolutely does not condone the killing of police officers. It is a widely disseminated myth that the Black Lives Matter movement hates police officers and that it advocates making our country more unsafe for them. While there are small but highly vocal groups advocating violence towards the police and which have received a lot of press, the broader Black Lives Matter movement is not anti-police and recognizes that police officers simply want to do their jobs and return home safely to their families.

This does not mean, however, that law enforcement organizations in the United States are not implicated in a system that frequently criminalizes black people, that often views them as unsafe and dangerous, and that does not stress that these citizens deserve to be protected and served just like everyone else. The Black Lives Matter movement is encouraging a return to the community policing rather than the current heavily militarized practices that exist in departments across the nation. Increasingly, the police presence makes black people feel less safe rather than more, given the often antagonistic ways in which police interact with citizens more generally and black citizens in particular. Police departments and their officers need to rebuild trust with the communities they serve.

Another misconception is that the movement hates white people. The statement “black lives matter” is not an anti-white proposition. Contained within it is an unspoken but implied “too,” as in “black lives matter, too,” which suggests inclusion rather than exclusion. However, there is a mischaracterization that affirming the value of black life is anti-white and that for white lives to matter, black lives cannot. That is a foundational premise of white supremacy and is antithetical to what the Black Lives Matter movement stands for, which is the simple proposition that “black lives also matter”.

It is not necessary to agree with everything that is disseminated under the Black Lives Matter name. It is clear that there are aspects of the movement and factions within it with which we might, or do, disagree, but in almost every civil rights movement there are such factions, which doesn’t necessarily mean one should back away. If we did, we wouldn’t have had civil rights legislation in the U.S., the end of apartheid in South Africa and of British rule in India, to name just three.

Don’t “All Lives Matter”?

As Unitarian Universalists we of course believe that all lives matter. However, the phrase “All Lives Matter” has become a rallying cry of critics of the Black Lives Matter movement, as have the accusations of the movement being anti-police or promoting violence. Such criticisms ignore how much more violence black Americans face on a day-to-day basis than their white compatriots. A major problem with “All Lives Matter” is that it takes the attention away from black people, shifting it to an “all” that is overwhelmingly white. To quote black minister John Crestwell Jr., of the UU Church of Annapolis, MD,

“Because of the structure and history of our country there is a lot of guilt and shame around slavery, our original sin as a nation. What has grown out of that, with black incarceration and drug laws, is a tremendous shame in white communities, within Unitarian Universalism and beyond. We aren’t able to articulate the shame, and so it comes out as anger and pushback when Black Lives Matter or other multicultural projects are promoted that are targeted specifically for African Americans.”

Currently a light is being shined upon black people who have experienced systemic injustice and we cannot ignore that by simply stating “all lives matter”. The Black Lives Matter movement has never claimed that black lives are more important than other lives but rather that black people are being criminalized and oppressed in a myriad of ways and it seeks to find solutions to these injustices.

What about “Blue Lives Matter”?

Black Lives Matter does not automatically mean that Blue Lives Don’t Matter and the movement doesn’t claim that it does, as has previously been mentioned in this FAQ. Those of us who live in comfortable suburban communities are unlikely to have negative experiences with our law enforcement personnel. Police throughout the nation perform heroic duty every day and keep many communities safe.

However, in predominantly poor black communities, community policing has mostly become militarized policing. The US government responded to threats of terrorism by providing police departments with military equipment, such as tanks, military grade weapons and riot gear. This equipment has been almost exclusively used in communities of color, not to deter terrorists. The Black Lives Matter movement is not trying to make the world more unsafe for police officers; rather it hopes to effect changes that make police officers less of a threat to communities of color and to be more supportive to these communities that they serve.

In August 2016, Rev. Kim Wildszewski, Rev. Rob Gregson of the UU Legislative Ministry of New Jersey, and Sallie Dunner of the Council for Faith in Action at UUCWC, met with Hopewell Township Chief of Police Lance Maloney, Lieutenant Chris Kascik and Ms. Julie Blake of the Hopewell Township Committee. There was a respectful and frank exchange of views and the officers indicated that they fully support our constitutional right to publicly express our values. They further stated that they did not consider our anti-racism work or support of Black Lives Matter as an affront or threat to them. In fact, the Hopewell police are very pro-active in ensuring that their police officers receive anti-bias and de-escalation training. Going forward, Rev. Kim and Sallie will continue to be in communication with the Hopewell police and the Township Committee.

What is institutional racism and how does it impact black people?

Institutional racism is expressed in the practice of social and political institutions. This is distinct from the racism of individuals or informal social groups. Institutional racism goes back to the earliest days of our nation when much of the country’s wealth was built on the backs of enslaved people and indentured servants. After the brief two year period of post-Civil War Reconstruction, Southern states enacted a myriad of punitive state and local laws known as Jim Crow laws, which targeted every area of black life. In Northern states segregation was not established by law but by patterns of housing and military segregation, bank lending practices and job discrimination, including discriminatory labor union practices. After World War II, a scant 4% of the million black GIs who served the country, were able to access the free education and good housing promised by the GI Bill. The former was due to universities having tiny quotas for blacks and the latter by FHA policies mapping out neighborhoods by the skin color of residents which effectively resulted in blacks being denied loans. Even after the 1964 Civil Rights Act was enacted, municipalities still found ways to circumvent the new laws. School segregation continued to exist, as did housing and job discrimination.

Welfare laws contributed to the break-up of families; the “man in the house” rule did not allow families to get assistance if there was an able-bodied man living in the home. So if a man lost his job, he literally had to leave home if he wanted his family to be eligible for government assistance. The Urban Renewal Program, dubbed the “Negro Removal Program” by James Baldwin, demolished entire neighborhoods to build highways, etc., resulting in the destruction of 90% of low income housing. The displaced residents were crammed into already decaying neighborhoods and the promised new housing never materialized. This critical point in our history created a housing footprint which froze communities into skin-color-coded have and have-nots, reaffirming segregation and causing increased distrust between the races.

Schools in the have-not districts were allowed to deteriorate, health care became non-existent, almost the only shops were, and still are, bodegas, liquor stores and payday lenders charging interest rates as high as 20%. People struggled on every level and continue to do so. Given the lack of opportunities, drugs took hold as a way of numbing pain and making a living. This lead to violence in communities of color as drug lords took over the neighborhoods. The draconian drug laws of the 1970s resulted in millions of arrests often for minor infractions causing the explosion in the prison population. This is much of what Black Lives Matter and other groups are now addressing.

Is the UUA Supporting the Black Lives Matter Movement?

Yes, it is and strongly encourages congregations to actively promote racial justice and support the Black Lives Matter movement. The 2015 General Assembly had a call and positive vote to support an action of immediate witness linking the Black Lives Matter movement to UU principles. It resolved that member congregations should be called to action, urged to engage in intentional learning spaces to organize for racial justice, and to work toward police reform and replacement of the current prison system with one that is more just and equitable. The action also urged member congregations to collaborate with other organizations in fighting for racial justice. To quote from the UUA 2015 Action of Immediate Witness Statement, “No matter who you are, black lives matter, and a system of fair, transformative and restorative justice that is accountable to communities is something to which each of us has a right.” Unitarian Universalism’s commitment to the Black Lives Matter movement was reaffirmed during General Assembly 2016.

What is Standing on the Side of Love?

The Standing on the Side of Love (SSL) campaign is sponsored by the UUA and is a public advocacy campaign that seeks to harness love’s power to stop oppression. It came into being after the shooting at Tennessee Valley UU Church in Knoxville which was targeted because they stood in support of Marriage Equality and SSL now strongly supports Black Lives Matter. Most UU Black Lives Matter banners use the SSL yellow background and their heart logo. SSL affirms and promotes these simple but daring acts in the communities of faith that make up our liberal religious tradition.

Links for further information:

Starting of Summer — June 16, 2020

Starting of Summer

photo credit: Northbound

Pretty much zoom meetings and virtual school is over with and thus beginning summer vacation! Where I live the summers can get very hot and humid quick with temperatures in the high 80’s to 100 degrees. (Yuck I dislike humidity)

With Covid-19 pools and playgrounds are still off limits and closed for the summer along with theaters, bowling alleys, etc. There are outdoor dining but many places where I live are not following social distancing and people are too close to each other and not wearing masks. Yes I get it not wearing it while you’re drinking and eating which is why there should be more space between tables to observe it and also you never know if someone is really sick because yeah adults lie too.

I started walking with my kids this week in the evenings when it’s cool outside and honestly it’s helped their mood a lot and they’re not as bored which is a good thing because having a child say “Mom/Dad I’m bored” all day isn’t fun and after awhile not only does it get annoying but you start to feel guilty because there favorite activities are not available to do right now.

Another thing we do is yes movies at least twice a week but definitely every Friday night because my teens also enjoy horror movies besides animated and family movies. Right now our ritual is watching Joe Bob Briggs The Last Drive in it’s a very entertaining show with great horror movies and good commentary in between.

If you’re a parent hang in there the best you can and yes right now it’s literally all about the little things you can do with your kids no matter age and yes finding things not only inside to do but outside as well it’ll help their mood and sleep pattern as well if you might struggle with that.

Happy Summer Vacation!

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