I wish I knew what I know now about BDSM

I wish I had known back then what I know now about kink and BDSM. When I was in my early twenties I didn’t know about communities, munches, or safe places you could go to and not worry about predators and manipulators.

The first encounter I had was mostly sexual and I had just gone right away into calling this person Master and didn’t properly vet and ask the important questions you’re supposed to ask. When was your last relationship? Why did your relationship with your last sub end? Do you have anger issues or mental health issues?

The relationship failed because of poor communication and a lack of knowledge about BDSM. I literally had no knowledge of what type of submissive am I? What type of Dominant am I looking for? Am I monogamous or am I polyamorous? Do I want to be in a full-time dynamic?

It was purely about the tantalization and fantasy about BDSM from reading fictional books and being turned on and saying to myself wow I really want to do this.

It is a much safer community now than it was back then because there are much more communities in which you can go to public places such as restaurants and bars for a munch. For those who do not know what a munch is it’s a vanilla gathering in a restaurant, bar, or cafe setting where you meet other people safely who are like-minded and interested in kink and BDSM. You can safely learn about people and there is no need to rush into anything nor should you rush into anything or any type of dynamic.

Years later as I’m now in my late 30’s I know what type of submissive I am and what type of relationship and dynamic that I’m okay with and what works for me. No, it doesn’t mean that I know everything because I don’t but when I’m ready to re-wet my feet into the BDSM and kink community I know how to do it safely.

If you are interested in BDSM and kink definitely lookup local communities in your area or near your area because the first thing is that safety and consent matters. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with and I highly do not recommend looking for it through a dating app because it’s not as safe as going to a public event with more people where you can converse with others and not just alone in one on one dating scene.

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